Divisionone.com

I saw my friend Phatboy this weekend.  I see him about once a year and coincidentally, it always happens to be on HIS birthday.  Interesting, huh?  Anyway he was telling me how he had just bought an HD DVD player last month and just the other day Warner Bros. announced that they’re going with Blue-ray.  That kind of sucks.  For him.  But I feel his pain cause I was a victim of the Betamax vs VHS battle back in the days.
 
It was in the mid 80’s sometime so I guess I was in grade school.  I was sitting in my bedroom/livingroom/kitchen (any of you that have been to my old apartment in Flushing know what I’m talking about) discussing with my mom and grandmother about buying a VCR.  Now mind you that this was a HUGE purchase for us at the time.
 
So we finally decide we should buy one and head towards Main Street.  My mom wanted to go to some crappy store that only sold Zenith stuff cause it was the closest one to our apartment.  I said screw that!  I knew it would be better to walk the extra few blocks to the Wiz cause they had the best prices and nobody beats the Wiz!  Even Joe Namath said so!
 
Once we get to the Wiz we’re immediately greeted by a wall of VCRs.  VCRs of all colors and shapes and sizes… and PRICES.  Uh oh, we have a problem.  Out of all these VCR’s there isn’t one that we can get for $50.  Hmmm.  Then we find out we have another problem.  There are TWO different types of VCRs… VHS and Betamax.  What kind of crazy stuff is this?!?!  Dejected and sad, the three of us trudge back to our apartment.
 
I spent the next week doing as much research as I could.  I talked to all my friends at school trying to figure out which type of VCR was better.  Then my friend Greg pulls me aside and says to me… “Hey, I have Fast Times at Ridgemont High on VHS that I taped off TV”.  Bingo!  That was it, I was going to get a VHS!
 
My mom told me we’d go on Sunday after church.  I waited patiently.  Sunday afternoon rolled around and I got my mom and grandmother together and made our walk down to Main Street.
 
We looked at the wall of VCRs again and I immediately knew the one I wanted to get.  It was a silver, top-loading Toshiba and only $120 or something like that.  I remember it wasn’t cheap, but probably the cheapest one on the shelves.  So I grab the guy and point to it and tell him.. I want that one please.
 
As the guy walks over to check the stock number, my mom tells me to hold on.  Hold on???  For what?  I know which VCR we’re getting and it’s that one right there!  Then she says to me.  “Is that the small tape one or the big tape one?”  It’s the big tape (VHS) one of course.  That’s what everyone told me to get.  That’s what Greg told me I should get.
 
Then my mom says, “Well the ladies at church all told me to get the small tape one.”
 
“Why?”, I asked.
 
“Because all the korean dramas come on the small tapes”.
 
Korean dramas?!?!  Who the hell cares about korean dramas, I certainly didn’t.  All I wanted to do was look at Phoebe Cates in all her exposed boobies glory!!!!  Anyway, after about 30 minutes of arguing and crying and pouting inside the store, of course I lose.  The Mom wins like usual and we walk back home with a stupid Betamax VCR.
 
You all can guess the rest of the story.  Betamax becomes obsolete within a year or so and all the korean dramas were coming out on VHS.  The Sanyo Betamax player gathered dust and we didn’t buy a new VHS VCR until 1998.
 
The moral of the story?  Whenver it’s a choice between boobies and anything else in life, pick boobies.

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