Mysterious Light - True Story
So I was walking down the street the other day and noticed a really bright light in the distance. I couldn’t quite figure out where the glare was coming from but before I could get close enough to it to get a better look, it was gone. POOF!
A day or so later, I was taking the bus to work and I noticed a simliar glare just to my side. I quickly turned towards the direction of the light but couldn’t figure out where it was coming from and it was gone. POOF!
This mysterious light has been appearing to me at various times throughout the day, at least once a day for the past several weeks. Sometimes it’ll be at a distance and other times just within my field of vision, but never directly in front of me where I could get a good view.
But then sometime last week, it happened. I was sitting on the bus again and the glare came at me from directly ahead. The brilliant shine was coming from some woman I had never met or seen before. She was dressed in a dark blue suit jacket and skirt and reading the Wall Street Journal. She didn’t particularly stand out from the rest of the morning commuters for any other reason than the bright glare that first caught my eye.
Then the light shined again. It was coming from near the floor and I looked.
I looked down and finally saw where the glare that had been haunting me for weeks was coming from. I saw these….
Yuck! Seriously. How fucking ugly are these shoes? And I know I’m not the only guy that’s noticed but it seems like every woman age 18-45 that works in the city wears these flapjacks to work. As if the meshed chinatown slippers and rubber thong slippers weren’t enough, now we have chicks walking around in ballet shoes with pickle jar caps on them.
I even asked one of my fashion loving friends about them and she told me she has a pair. And she’s got the real ones, not the Nine-West knockoffs. So I looked them up.
Tori Burch Reva Ballerina Shoes or some crap like that. $195. ONE HUNDRED NINETY FIVE BUCKS? Tori Burch? More like Tori You’re a Fucking Genius Burch.
You take a pair of $10 ballerina shoes like so…
+
a shiny gold Aztec medallion replica like such…
= PROFIT PROFIT PROFIT!
