Divisionone.com

In my 32 or so years on this planet, I’ve learned many things about people… and women in particular.  I’ve learned several valuable lessons from the many many many many many women I have bedded and today will share some insightful tibits with you common folk.

On hookups -

1. With a nice girl, it’s just one in the pink.  With a nasty girl, it’s one in the pink and one in the stink… except it’s hands, instead of fingers.
2. Don’t run down into the basement headfirst.  “Test the waters” beforehand by sending in a probe and then put your arm around the girl and pretend to be kissing her ear or something while you sniff over the probe’s findings.
3. If you think you’re going to get some that night, don’t take a dump.  If you must, make sure you shower afterwards and scrub really well or else she’ll think you’re a dirty bastard like Choi.
4. Regardless of whether it’s really good or just eh, you have to tell her that it was awesome if you want a rematch.

On settling down -

1. If you’re in the middle of saying something and she interrupts you to talk about the Cartier watch she saw online, she’s a selfish bitch and should get the boot.
2. If she gets mad at you for talking to your female friends but she talks to her male BFF all the time, she’s a selfish bitch and should get the boot.
3. If she goes to the store and buys yogurt and grape nuts and shit like that but doesn’t buy any Spam, she’s a selfish bitch and should get the boot.
4. If she patiently listens to you and acts like she’s honestly interested while you babble on about the glowing shoulder pads that you just got that gives you +42 spell damage, she’s aiight.
5. If while acting like she cares about your glowing shoulder pads, she even participates in the conversation and compares how “improving your mage is like getting NOS for a car”… she’s a keeper.

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