I Like Girls That Are 5 Feet Tall
There was this one time I was at some asian party, drunk off my ass. I remember I was standing at the bar and checking out this girl on the other side for like 20 minutes. I kept thinking to myself, “Damn, that girl’s so cute!” Finally, after like my fifth shot of Jagermeister in 20 minutes (this is after having already had several drinks previously), I decided to approach this girl.
Now you guys know I must have been fucked up at this point because I would rarely approach a random girl at a club. I think in all my years that I’ve been single and gone out, I’ve met only about 4 or 5 girls that I wasn’t introduced to.
So anyway, I walk up to this girl and start talking to her. Not really sure what I said to her but I guess it was smooth cause I got her digits. I closed out the conversation and as I was walking way, I remember thinking to myself, “Holy shit.. that’s probably the hottest girl I’ve ever met!!!”
I waited a few days to call the girl and made plans to meet up in that little area in Ktown next to Kang Suh, where they have all those tables. So I get there a few minutes early and I’m looking around to see if my hottie is there. I waited there for like 15 minutes and started thinking I got stood up.
Then this fat little leprechaun lookin’ girl walks up to me and goes, “frankNbeans?”
My first thought at that very moment was “Holy shit… that’s probably the dumpiest girl I’ve ever met!!!” WTF? This girl was probably about 5 feet tall… lying down. What in heaven’s name was I thinking?
Unfortunately, I wasn’t quick witted enough to call her a fat cow, punch her in the stomache and just run like hell.
“Uhh.. OH HEEEEEEY! I didn’t see you there. (How could I miss her?). You ready to eat? (Of course you are.)”
Needless to say, that was the worst date I’ve ever had in my life. The whole time while my date was eating, I was just praying to God that none of my friends would walk in and see me with this cow.
Since that day, if I ever meet a girl while I’m drunk, I make sure I always get a picture of her before we actually meet up. And I don’t drink Jagermeister.
