Morning Pickup
Ever have one of those days when you look in the mirror and think to yourself, damn.. I look pretty good today. Well, today wasn’t one of those days for me. But the weird thing is that when I got on the bus and found a seat near the back, this cute girl that was sitting towards the front of the bus kept looking at me.
Normally, I’d think nothing of it but I had noticed her when i first got on the bus and she was pretty cute. And this girl kept turning around just so she could check me out. Shyeah baby! So I sat there for a little while, listening to my ipod, thinking about how I could approach her and try to talk to her.
I could just smile when she looks at me again. Smoooooth! Or if she’s still sitting there when I get off, I can exit through the front so I can walk past her and give her my business card. Classsssy! Or I could just walk up to her right now and say hello. Suaaaaaave!
While all this was going through my head, she looked at me again. I wasn’t really decided on my gameplan yet, so I just looked right back at her and smiled. I expected her to smile back at me, but she didn’t. It was as if I was transparent and she was looking right past me… behind me.
It was like waving at someone, thinking they’re waving at you, but then they give you a dirty look because they were actually waving at someone BEHIND you and then you feel all stupid. So then you give them a dirty look back and pretend you’re waving at someone else behind that person that gave you the dirty look, just so that you don’t feel as stupid.
Anyhow, that’s when I heard this humming noise behind me, over the Depeche Mode playing on my ipod. I pulled out one of my earbuds so i could hear the sound better. It was part humming, part whining, all Arabic… and it was coming from the guy right behind me. I didn’t want to just turn and look so I pretended to look at something outside the window and as the bus passed it, I slowly turned to look behind me. And what do I see? Some Arabic dude, dressed in these raggedy clothes, sitting behind me chanting to an open book.
What the fuck? In this day and age, who does that?!?!? I’m not trying to say I approve of stereotypes or anything, but that shit just made me nervous all of a sudden. Why the hell would you get on a public bus and start chanting arabic shit? I understand the whole freedom of speech and freedom of religion stuff, but what about my freedom to not want to get my ass blown to pieces during my morning commute to work?
Luckily, upon further examination, I noticed the guy didn’t have any unusually large bags with him and wasn’t wearing some thick North Face looking jacket…. so I felt a bit relieved. Yeah, whatever… I know all of you guys would have been thinking the same thing if you were in my shoes.
Moral of the Story - Whenever I think a cute girl’s checking me out, odds are…. she’s not.
