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So I’m at this wedding this weekend, hammered off my ass from drinking way too much Johnny.  About 20 of us, including the groomsmen and the groom decide to go to the bar at the hotel afterwards.

We’re all drinking at the bar having a merry ‘ol time when I thought we needed some more drinks. I saw an open spot at the bar so I walk over and see like 5 drinks just sitting there!  So being the cheap bastard that I am, I stole all the drinks and gave them out, pretending I bought them!  Kidding.  So I saw the 5 drinks there and I didn’t want to knock them over accidentally, so I just moved them a little to the side.  Keep in mind that I didn’t try to drink any of them or even take them from the counter.

Then this frikkin old fat white dude walks up to me and asks “what the fuck are you doing?”  So I told him that I was just moving his drinks to the side so I wouldn’t accidently knock them over.  I thought that was nice enough but the guy says to me “Don’t touch my fucking drinks!”.

At this point I’m starting to get annoyed, but being there for a wedding, I tried to keep calm.  I said “Listen, I’m not trying to take your drink or anything.  I was just moving it so relax”

“Don’t tell me to relax and don’t fucking touch my drinks again!” he said.

I think this is the point when I got pissed and started yelling at the guy.  I don’t remember what I said but I’m sure it sounded similiar to the “conversation” I had with that lobby pig at Third Floor a few weeks ago.  I do remember saying something to the extent of “Why the hell would I touch your drinks again if I already moved them?” or something like that.  Yeah that sounds pretty lame but that was the best comeback I could think of at the time.

Then I remember turning toward the guy and getting ready to throw down when I saw this look on his face.  A look like he regretted opening his big mouth to the nice, drunk, korean man.  I stared right at him and he just slowly turned toward the fat cow he came in with and walked away.

I was about to go after him but then I stopped myself and just said ”That’s right, bitch!”

Then I turned around and realized that like 7 of the other guys I came to the bar with were standing behind me ready to kick the guy’s ass.

Old fat white man you got lucky!  If they hadn’t scared you off, I would have kicked your ass in front of that moose that you were trying to act like a tough guy in front of.  And then taken your drinks and told my friends that I bought it for them.

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